Freaks of Nature
Posted by MayaInspire at Sunday, June 15. 2008 and is filed under uncategorized 
It has been longer than I had anticipated and for that, I apologize. I could go on about being busy or feeling "blocked" but I will spare you the excuses. Today is Father's Day. I figured I would broadcast that. There are too many communities and too many families who think that today is just Sunday. Luckily for me, I am not one of them. I talk a lot about the things that I have learned in my life and one of the hardest things I have ever learned was that I was fortunate to have a father living in the home with me. What kind of shit is that to learn? I am appalled.
I had a wonderful childhood and my father was the peak to that pyramid. He was the glue that held it all together throughout the good and the hellation. There was no cutting and running. Fatherhood was always seen as a plus. They say the best gift you can give a child is the love of their mother. I am feeling that. To be locked into something for a year is challenging but to commit to anything for a lifetime is tricky. We are talking about daily checks and balances, stifling your individual self for the greater good, and doing it all again for another generation if necessary. The stakes are high in the sky and the rewards do not stop. If you have children, you have not lived until you have struggled day in and day out with your child. Thank you Dad, I am better for it.
I feel like a father as any single mother should. I want to take this space of cyber world to wish a heartfelt Happy Father's Day to all of my compatriots in this struggle. Remember it is honorable and it is without shame.
I contemplated not even going here as it makes me want to savagely eat my heart out. I am constantly trying to find meaning behind this “deadbeat dad” phenomenon that too many are familiar with. Here is what I have come up with:
In nature, I know that there are very few species of animals who even have a male present at birth. Here, it is more of like spreading their seed through ritualistic mating. They don't know the baby and the baby doesn't know them. Ok, cool. Maybe we are more like animals than we think and those who stay and raise their children are freaks of nature. Strike that.
I keep thinking and since I am a black woman, my mind turns to black men. We as African Americans have historically been through more than our fair share. Life is hard and arguably harder on a black man. Many are in prison behind a justice system whose methods of punishment lacks uniformity. This has in turn permanently separated them from any children they may have. Shucks! Racism is an ugly thing that is dealt with in the most unexpected places. It is not easy to deal with and it is not for me or anyone to speculate on the psychological effects it brings. Maybe deadbeat dads are so downtrodden by the daily act of living that we all take for granted that it then becomes next to impossible for them to be around for what comes out of a night of passion that they have entered into in an attempt to numb the ever present pain they feel about themselves. Those black men who stay on the straight and narrow and raise their children are simply freaks of nature. Strike that.
I keep thinking and then it's like shame on me. How could I not invoke the "softer side" of MayaInspire? These deadbeat dads are in need of sympathy and a tissue. Here they are just trying to engage in a guilt free night of passion and they are so unfortunate as to stumble across their worst nightmare: a crazy woman who is not up on her birth control. Maybe they knew her, maybe they didn't. All that matters now is that she is crazy. He doesn't want a baby and he can't get an abortion. From the sex to the aftermath it should remain all about him. Now, he has something like a parasite on him who makes frequent visits to judges and shows up unexpectedly at his job. Maybe deadbeat dads can't shake her and the mere thought of her clouds any thought of a poor defenseless child who supposedly has half of his DNA but that's just what he read so now he must lace up and run away from the biggest mistake he has ever made and pray to more than one God that this "incident(s)" won't one day come back and bite him in his rancid ass. Those men who suck it up and stick it out are mere freaks of nature. Strike that.
To all of the fathers out there, keep doing what you are doing. Despite my softer side, I give no trophies for taking care of business. You don’t need my trophy anyway, you already have the prize.
There is nothing above or under the sun that should keep a man away from his child. To the deadbeat dads out there, I do not have enough vile words in my vocabulary to dispatch you properly. The good thing is I do not need them. I know firsthand what you are missing. I question the need for your very existence. I feel sorry for you. Here you are without enough foresight to avail yourself of the one thing that can bring you the most growth, joy, prosperity, and love imaginable. A true freak of nature.
Well Mayainspire I'll just share with you what I learned growing up and that is "The Truth Is The Light".
Reply to this
My father was never in my life and I have been a great mother to my own kids regardless. He is a coward and like you said a freak. I'm happy to say my kids have a dad so the cycle doesn't keep going on.
Reply to this
Maya, welcome back. Your message is as poignant as ever. As a former stepfather and one whose father was always there for me, fathers who decide against involving themselves in the lives of their children have no idea of the wonderful experiences they're missing. It is life-changing for both their children and themselves. As hard as it was for me to eventually lose them, I wouldn't have missed being a parent, even a stepparent, for the world.
Reply to this
Hello Love! This is J J. Lula and I read your father "freak of nature" blog. Lula thought it was GREAT and your photos are GORGEOUS!I agree with her! Looking at Your page made our night! Kisses and love to you! Keep up the good work.
Reply to this